Some amusing conclusions

[Shrek]

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public.

The best vitamin for making friends....B1.

To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.

If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(I liked this last one)

Source: GigglePedia

[Shrek]

When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.

Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users'.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Would you like to hear the pencil joke? Well, it's pointless.

[envee]

hah wow these are good .. these are my favorites:

People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public. <-- so true!!

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.