jokes

[centong]

1. Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you
dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that
you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you
dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you
do not need a raise.

2. Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,
an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence,
your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the
"Chronic Offenders category." Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

3. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

4. A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The

husband was stunned for a while but then smiled

" It really works ! "

5. Good Person : Its YOU
Good Friend : Its YOU again
Good Heart : Thats YOU !
Good Will : Its also YOU !
Good Looking Ahh....
hold it. Its 2 much 4 u..... Now its ME

6. I saw u on road today.
U were lukin so fine,
ur face so divine,
ur walk so perfect.
My heart started singing a sweet song:
Who Let The Dog Out!

7. When I was born
SHAITAN said
"OH, **** ANOTHER GOOD
SOUL ON EARTH."
When U were born
SHAITAN said,
"OH ****, COMPETITION."

8. Life is small, live it!
Love is short, enjoy it!
Anger is injurious, dump it!
Troubles r momentary, face it!
Memories r sweet, cherish it!
I m too good, Admit it!

9. A friend is
1% FUNNY
2% SWEET
3% CARING
4% LoVING
90% GOOD LOOKING
That's why I am your friend.

[TVBobsessed]

i like number one
_________________
.:PurE:.

[lemon_ice_tea]

ha that's funny!!